Out of touch, coming back

Ok, Ok, I'll admit that I'm a blogging slacker and that WBB has seriously been neglected... but I have an excuse, I swear! I just moved from the great state of Kentucky across the river to Cincinnati and it's been a royal time sucker.

Leaving Kentucky was tragic, so I plan to tell my future children how their father ripped us violently from the motherland to cut a few minutes off his commute. I also plan to tell them stories whenever it rains about how the sun always shines on the Kentucky side of the river. And, if we're in Kentucky and it's raining, I'll explain that it's because God is crying because someone in Ohio did something stupid.... This is what I think will be cool about having kids.

Anyway, the cable man has yet to set up our Internet access, so I'm like a lonely island, unable to blog, unable to email, unable to connect with the world. Today I couldn't take it anymore and ventured to the local Starbucks for some much needed online time. I had no idea how addicted I was.

So, the Internet should be back tomorrow, so expect me to be in full force by the weekend.

Chimney Sweeps and Miracle Chocolate

Early last week I was faced with a major problem -- my home smelled of death. The odor was so bad that I couldn't even stay at home one night. The suspected culprit, a raccoon. It turns out that I have two chimneys that serve as a raccoon recreation paradise.

Well, I hired a chimney sweep to take care of this problem and inspect my fireplace to see if I could easily make it functional again. I learned two important things from my chimney sweep:

1. Both chimneys in my house are disintegrating from the inside and need significant work. It will be a while before I can afford to make my fireplace functional, because right now I have to stabilize it and make sure the chimney doesn't cave in on it. Bye bye fun funds... ahhh the joys of homeownership.

And here's the weird transition....

2. There is a miracle chocolate called Xocai that can heal a variety of health problems and prevent aging when you integrate it into a wholesome diet. I realize how random this is, but my chimney sweep spent about 30 minutes telling me about this while he wrote up the estimate for the necessary and painful work necessary on my chimneys. My chimney sweep is a very vocal advocate of this miracle chocolate product (selling it is a side business for him) and frankly you can't help but enjoy learning about something new from someone who is that enthusiastic. He's really the perfect spokesperson, as he says that after a very serious heart attack, the chocolate helped heal his heart.

Anyhow, the moral of the story is that I really wish I had something to get THAT excited about. I'm notoriously even keeled. I really don't get down about much, but I don't really get super excited about anything either. It's a trait that serves me well in most situations, but sometimes I want my own miracle chocolate.