Sunday, December 23, 2007

Today's Lesson: Don't Buy Food From Me With Change Only. I'll Never Forget.

Few things cheese me off so much that I feel the need to rant about it via blog, but this did it.

OK, I get it, it's sort of cute and quaint that this adorable old guy has been squirreling away his change for the last ten years or whatever, just waiting to buy that new truck. But, seriously folks, IT IS NEVER COOL TO PAY FOR SOMETHING THAT'S MORE THAN FIVE DOLLARS IN CHANGE ONLY.

Perhaps this hits too close to home. When I slaved away as a cashier at a Cracker Barrel during college, one family thought it would be fun to pay for their $50 dinner with quarters. My head very nearly exploded.

I could see how a reader might accuse me of being ageist. Perhaps, after all, this man isn't accustomed to this crazy new world, filled with iPods and baggy pants and Coinstars and online-only high yield savings accounts.

OK, maybe. But here is my response:

1) I'll bet this guy knows what a bank is, and that over the years his friendly neighborhood bank or credit union could have been slowly transferring his coins into dollars. He still could have taken those dollars back home with him to stuff under his mattress, if he was so inclined.

2) I can't conceive of a world--past or present--where paying for something with an ass-ton of change was welcomed and socially acceptable. Even at his old nickel-and-dime store in the 50s, I can't imagine that this dude paying for $5 worth of purchases with pennies would have been embraced.

If you want to save up your extra change all year long, that's great. But either learn to deal with the complexities of Coinstar or your local bank, or prepare to meet my (increasingly bitter) wrath.


Brenner said...

Let 'em have it, Stark! Stick it to those elderly, change-paying bastards.
Such a perfect blog for the holidays. Love it.

amanda said...

I couldn't agree with you more! Merry Christmas:)

Greg said...

NASCAR driver Rusty Wallace was fined $10,000 once. He had an armored truck deliver his fine to NASCAR headquarters to pay it in pennies.

This guy has a good idea actually. But I'd take all the money to the bank before I bought the car.

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