King me

For some reason, there's an article on Yahoo! Travel today about the World's Most Beautiful Castles. Since you wanted to know, my immediate reactions were these:

1. This is the perfect travel piece for the depths of the Great Recession! Thanks, Yahoo!! (And, by the way, since Yahoo! comes with its own exclamation mark, I assume that's the proper style for when it appears at the end of an exclamation, right?)
2. Damn, I'm really looking forward to Yahoo! Travel's article about the World's Ugliest Castles.

I don't really care much about castles unless they're white and serve small hamburgers in cardboard sleeves. But I read a few parts of the story anyway. And I'm glad I did, because I learned about Bavaria's Newuschwanstein Castle.

The good folks at Newuschwanstein must be very proud indeed, because the writer claims that Neuschwanstein was "a major inspiration for Sleeping Beauty's Castle at Disneyland." Which I think is like saying that Monet was "a major inspiration for Thomas Kinkade: Painter of Light."

The Feast of Saint Bastard (Happy Corruption Day!)

As Eddie Izzard once said: "What have you been reading, the Gospel According to Saint Bastard?"

That's what I would say to the glut of politicians being investigated, indicted or sentenced today for corruption. More on the patron saints of bastardom, after the jump.

Our all-star line-up of criminal politicians kicks off with a Republican Senator from Alaska:

Saint Ted: Patron Saint of Unseemly Renovations -- Ted Stevens, the longest-serving Republican in Senate history, has been indicted on SEVEN, count them, SEVEN felony charges related to accepting illegal gifts for renovations on his home in Anchorage. I guess once you've been in the Senate for 40 years, you start to get a little too comfortable and think you're under the radar. Not so much. Of course, Saint Ted has claimed his innocence, but much like Joan of Arc, he'll probably be burned at the stake -- in that metaphorical political career ending way.




Saint Sharpe: Patron Saint of Adulterous Real Estate -- Sharpe James, the former Mayor of Newark and politician with the best name I've heard in a long time, was sentenced to 27 months in federal prison for selling city land to his mistress at a "special rate"... Ahem. I'm sure the treatment he's been getting at home since this came out from his wife of 44 years is as bad as the treatment he'll get in prison.

The Promised Land for Corrupt Saints: Cleveland -- We haven't found out who the patron saint of Cleveland is yet. But based on the fact that nearly every public building was raided by the Feds on Monday as part of a public corruption probe, I bet we've got a couple warriors of St. Bastard soon to be named. This is something to keep an eye on, for sure.

So, that's it for the Patron Saints of Corruption on this Feast of Saint Bastard. Until next year, soldier on corrupt keepers of the public good, soldier on.

Meet Olive Riley

This is a nice little piece on Jezebel about the passing of Olive Riley, who was apparently also known as "The World's Oldest Blogger."

The plight of full-time bloggers?

I thought this article in Radar by former Gawker editor Choire Sicha was pretty interesting. And it gives voice to something I've been thinking for a long time: As fun and exciting as it sounds, I've always thought that being paid to be a full-time blogger would be more stress than it's worth.

While the angle of the story is on a recent pay rate cut at Gawker Media, the article also spells out how the whole Gawker pay system works...pageviews, pageviews, pageviews. And yes, while that makes a certain amount of sense, and writers/bloggers should always be hyper-conscious of what their audience will want to read, link to, and send around, I think this kind of model creates writers that are less concerned with creating compelling content and more interested in linking to or creating content (read: the more salacious, the better) that functions solely as a traffic driver. Do those two categories of content have to be mutually exclusive? Probably not. But I can see how, concerned with pay and job security, a lot of people could displace the former for the latter.

I love this story!

My favorite part (click to enlarge):

The world is full of whack jobs. I'm so proud that I live in the same state as this guy. Sheesh.

This is the best thing I've read all day.



Click image to see detail.

(Story from Cincinnati.com)

EVOO is some kind of terrorist code

Ok, so have you heard about the recent right-wing faux controversy featuring America's sweetheart and a third-rate Food Network "chef" gone talk show host? Yeah, our beloved Dunkin' Donuts has been tainted by that undercover terrorist Rachel Ray. Just ask Michelle Malkin, who wrote about this highly important issue.

See, Rachel Ray's stylist has style. And, she found this crazy cute white scarf with a paisley pattern for Rachel to use in her latest Dunkin' Donuts commercial. Random Aside: I heard that Rachel doesn't even like Dunkin' Donuts coffee and she's a total diva on the commercial set.

Anyway, apparently that cute white scarf looked a lot like a keffiyeh. Now, according to Internet source of power, Wikipedia, a keffiyeh is defined as a traditional Arab headdress, and the white and black variety is considered a symbol of Palestinian nationalism. Ok, so what? But if you're like Michelle Malkin and her cronies, it's "jihadi chic" and "hate couture".

Poor Dunkin' Donuts ended up pulling their ad to satisfy the .0005 percent of people offended by the fashion choice who probably don't appreciate the glory of their product anyway. What a waste of money -- even though less Rachel Ray on the airwaves isn't exactly a bad thing. That's a personal preference though.

But, have faith in America people. Even Michelle Malkin's followers thought this faux controversy was retarded. Just read the comments, and go buy a bear claw or something.

Yes, I Graduated From The Perez Hilton School Of Graphic Design

I'm probably a bad person, but I was really hoping I would open this story to find out that Dennis Quaid had lost his marbles and consulted Hugh Laurie on his recent family crisis.

Yeah, Happy Monday

Another day, another story about a poor person who returns an ass-ton of cash. As you may remember, I was in a curmudgeonly mood at the start of the new year and blogged about a similar story.

Well, I'm no less curmudgeonly today, I guess. A refresher course for why these stories piss me off: To be delighted at this story, we have to embrace the notion that the majority of those less fortunate A) have a less strict moral code than the rest of us, thus making them more predisposed to running off with someone else's money, and B) are more likely to be dumbasses that pocket thousands upon thousands of dollars without a thought to when someone will come looking for it.

Yes, I'm happy the woman returned the money. It's clearly the right thing to do. And it's great that she got a cash reward for her efforts. But let's not insult her by saying that it's "newsworthy" that she didn't turn to a life of crime when presented with the option.

If I were the God of All Media, here's the story I'd pump out for the masses to see: A service piece on why skittish old people should start getting more comfortable with banks. Because having $30,000 hanging out in envelopes is not a good idea.

I'm In The Mood To Gripe

So, about a million things piss me off about this story from The New York Times.

I don't begrudge this dude his need for privacy; I enjoy time by myself and have yet to totally lose my ability to function when my husband goes out of town. But this guy just seems like an asshole. He wants privacy, yes, but clearly his wife loves his company so much that he has to hatch a hare-brained (and expensive) scheme to indulge his wants. His genius idea: building a $20,000 cottage and hiding the purpose of the construction from his wife for a year, instead telling her that it's a shed for some of their extra stuff until it's done. And then, surprise! It wasn't to serve their joint purposes at all! It's just for him! What fun!

Classy.

It's Good To Know What Kind Of News Stories I Need To Avoid In The Morning

File Under: Things That Immediately Make Me Burst Into Tears

Attention Dick Wolf!

I expect to see a warmed-over version of this story on Law & Order in six months or less. Don't let me down.

Tune in: State of the Union

Since all of your favorite fictional TV characters are in reruns, you can feel good about taking time to hear our President rerun some fiction of his own during his last State of the Union Address! Glorious!

Here's a nice look back at some past Bush speeches, compliments of the Detroit Free Press.

Tiger Vs. Man Vs. Things That Annoy Me

This story disturbs me.

I'll concede that these kids were acting like jackasses. But to me, the only relevant part of this story is that the wall was FOUR FEET SHORTER than the recommended minimum. Why does it matter that they were drinking or smoking weed or acting like idiots? The whole point of this story seems to debunk the idea that these kids were victims of a tiger attack.

Take, for example, this quote:

"As a result of this investigation, (police believe) that the tiger may have been taunted/agitated by its eventual victims," according to Inspector Valerie Matthews, who prepared the affidavit. Police believe that "this factor contributed to the tiger escaping from its enclosure and attacking its victims," she said.

Yeah. And another factor? THE WALL WAS TOO SHORT.

They probably should have been kicked out of the zoo. And standing on a wall and taunting a tiger is never a good idea. But to suggest that they had what was coming to them? Enh.

A cool Web site

Today, thanks to my friend Shannanb at Mommybits, I discovered a really cool Web site.

BigThink is a Web site that shares "big" ideas. The basic concept for the site is pretty cool. It's based on the premise that that media is broken -- distilling major issues into episodic stories with little context, littered with sound bites. The site asks its visitors to ask and discuss the bigger questions that we never see discussed in the media with any depth or insight. It contains a laundry list of experts giving their take through short videos on a range of issues, from Arts & Culture to Science & Technology to National & International news.

The experts are pretty impressive too. Here's a sample:

• Dan Glickman, President of the Motion Picture Association of America, talking about Film and the American Experience
• Tom Freston, Former President & CEO of Viacom, talking about The Income Gap
• Jon Meacham, Editor at Newsweek, talking about the state of the American Media Today
• Stephen Breyer, Supreme Court Justice, talking about how the Supreme Court's decisions affect us.
  

Mitt Romney is even on here talking about how Iraqis view America. I wouldn't watch that one though, if I were you. You know hearing Mitt Romney speak rots your brain over time, right? I don't know why Huckabee doesn't send Chuck Norris and Ric Flair to take care of that little problem.

Anyway, I digress. You should check this site out. It's an interesting way to join a conversation on topics you don't get to discuss in public often...because you're a big nerd, like me.

Another celebrity endorsement news break

After Huckabee and Obama's impressive showing in the Iowa caucus, I think the importance of the celebrity endorsement is clear. Whether you've got Oprah or The Holy Ranger of Kick Ass, you've gotta have somebody. So, here are some more important endorsements, or "game changers" as I like to call them:

• Let's start with my favorite, Dennis Kucinich: Larry Flynt and Willie Nelson. Let the good times roll!

• Huckabee: In addition to Chuck Norris, he's got Ric Flair (Proving that a Huckabee administration will be tough on crime)

• Hillary Clinton: Maya Angelou (love her) has been a vocal supporter. And, she's got Barbara Streisand and Tony Bennett. And, don't forget Speilberg and Rob Reiner.

• Barack Obama: Oprah -- does anyone else matter? Anyway, if you count the celebrities that showed for an Oprah fundraiser, Obama also has Will Smith, Halle Berry and Stevie Wonder in his corner. But the Obama endorsement that matters most to me: George Clooney. (Hey George, when you're in the Cincinnati area next time, look me up.)

• John Edwards: I despise Edwards, but he has the Kevin Bacon endorsement. Now if he can tap into those 6 degrees. The John Mellencamp endorsement isn't bad either.

• Bill Richardson has the man from the West Wing, one Martin Sheen.

• Rudy Guiliani: He's got the Adam Sandler vote. Yet another sign that his campaign is going to implode, as it is, shall I say, a joke. He's also got Bo Derek and Dennis Miller.

• Fred Thompson has PAT SAJAK people! PAT SAJAK!

• Nobody likes Mitt Romney that I can tell. I hope it stays that way.

• Chris Dodd and Joe Biden -- dropped out. Clearly their endorsements didn't matter.

Now, I can't ensure the accuracy of this list by any means, but this is what my super sleuthing has indicated to date. Let me know if you've got any additions. Anyone know of a Ron Paul endorsement?

(Picture taken from Radar)

Nonsense In The New Year

It's the first day back from an all-too-short break, so maybe I'm just pre-disposed to being the tiniest bit slow and grumpy. That being said, I've been staring at this story for about five minutes, and I still don't get the point. The gist, for those of you too lazy to click through (and that's pretty frickin' lazy, by the way): Fast food worker finds check for $185,000, fast food worker returns check to relative of person check was written to, fast food worker gets lauded for not trying something really shady instead.

So... basically, we should all be really impressed if someone that's poor shows common sense? That seems kind of insulting. It's not like this was an envelope with a marginal amount of cash in it; it was a check written for $185,000! If he'd tried to cash it, we'd all be reading a story about the idiot that tried to cash a $185k check that was written out to someone else. So, you know, I'm just saying... I know we have some class issues in this country, but hopefully we can all agree that some--even, gasp, most--of the people flipping burgers at Mickey D's are not total degenerates out to make a buck the sketchiest way possible. If they were, they'd probably be knocking off banks instead of serving up those delicious, delicious fries, right?

An observation

Benazir Bhutto's assassination and turmoil in Pakistan is going to have a huge effect on the world. That includes us, in the United States.

But I bet if you asked the average person on the street what's going on in that country, who Benazir Bhutto is, the role Pakistan plays in the "war on terror", Pakistan's relationship with India and Afghanistan, and so on -- you would get blank stares.

That's just sad. If you don't know why Pakistan matters to you, I recommend reading up. The Economist is a great place to start. Check it out.

Our friend Severo, summed up the loss very eloquently on his blog.

This is creepy

Thank you random gmail link! This is just bizarre.

Have I mentioned that I'm intrigued by how Googzilla chooses these stories for me? Anyone know?