Saturday, January 19, 2008

For the terrible movies list

When you only have basic cable, your television options on a Saturday afternoon consist of infomercials or a terrible movie on FOX. Today, I opted for the terrible movie.

Today's awful movie was Firestorm. You can watch the trailer here. Here's the basic premise -- some convicts escape prison and their lawyer sets a forest fire for them to escape into. At the same time, an ornithologist is being saved by a strapping firefighter named Jesse Graves. As you can imagine, much action ensues.

But what makes this movie so fantastic besides its horrible fire graphics, completely absurd fight scenes, and ridiculous dialogue and plot, is that the star, Jesse Graves, is pro football hall-of-famer Howie Long. The whole time I was watching the really bad acting, I kept thinking: "Where have I seen that guy?" And then it hit me, in strangely shiny suits on The NFL on FOX.

Unless your only other movie option is Catwoman, don't ever watch this film.

7 comments:

Loree said...

Sounds like this could be a WBB feature. The crap movies we see under the heading "Don't Watch This Film."

brenner said...

Never seen Firestorm, but Howie rocked it big-time in Broken Arrow.

Mommy Bits said...

I'd add Palmetto (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120782/) to your list of movies to avoid. Gina Gerson is in it - think Striptease - along with Woddy Harrelson and Elizabeth Shue. It's an absolute train wreck!

Justin McGill said...

Howie was great in Broken Arrow. In comparison to his Firestorm performance, at least.

Greg said...

FWIW, I thought Elisabeth Shue was at her absolute hottest in Palmetto...even trumping her turn in Cocktail.

And Palmetto is coming on one of my HD channels at 3 a.m. tonight. Other than Ms. Shue's hotness, yes, the movie is absolute crap, plus Woody Harrelson's character is named Harry Barber.

Mommy Bits said...

Harry Barber....lmao

Greg said...

Harry's an old-school newswriter...he had a typewriter (and he could use only his) and I don't think he ever sat at a computer.

 
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